thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
