it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
