I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
