Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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