based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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