allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
