I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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