he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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