So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
