There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
