I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Two words: blizzard sex
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
