That's intense
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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