What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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