I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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