I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
