Someone shit on the floor
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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