I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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