she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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