i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize