Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
