The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
