Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
