I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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