Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
