I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
