did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize