a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
