probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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