And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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