YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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