Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
