I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
