I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize