pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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