yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
