i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
