we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
