So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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