Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I stole a fireplace last night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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