also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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