so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
