what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
