yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
