hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
