you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
