just come out here and I will go home with you...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
