Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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