Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
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He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
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God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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