just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
