he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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