he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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