I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
