can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
