we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
